You know that nazi guy, Richard Spencer. You may remember him from his staring role as “Man who gets punched in side of head” in a YouTube video? Ya, I’m just wondering…did that work? Did he denounce nazism after that? Did he suddenly turn around and go, “Wow, thanks for that! That is just what I needed to convince me that being a nazi is bad!” Did it convert him to some kind of less annoying ideology?
No? It didn’t work? WHAT? I am shocked! You mean, that strategy wasn’t as effective as people are making it out to be?? WHO KNEW!?
I’ve written more seriously about the whole kurfuffel elsewhere, like, on my other more serious, and annoying blog jammed packed with with opinions and rants that no one actually reads. You can read it HERE.
I’m 42 years old now. I’m trying to plan a midlife crisis but it’s really hard to when I don’t know exactly when I’m going to die. What if I start a midlife crisis today and end up being hit by a truck tomorrow? Then it will have been a latelife crisis and I’ll look like a complete idiot. Or, if I start today and live until I’m 109, it will look like I really suck at math, and again I will look like a complete idiot. I need to time this right. If I start today then I must make sure I’m dead by this time in my 84th year of existence. That’s the only way I can see coming out of this ahead as a winner.
Much of my comedy has been weird one-liners. But, I’m a super political person and I keep wanting to branch out into more political comedy. How is that going, you ask? Not great. I haven’t actually been able to make it work on stage yet. It hasn’t gelled. I have a bit of work to do on that.
I wasn’t sure if I should do political stuff on this blog. My other blogs are almost exclusively political or discussing this or that current or not so current event. I thought I would try and separate the two. But if I am going to actually do political humour, then I guess I can’t really keep the two separate, can I? So, it looks like my posts on this blog are set to be a little heavier than I intended at first. Maybe?
Anyway, how’s that Donald Trump working out for everyone?
Holy geez. When I started this blog I was sure it would be a blog I would keep up with. I haven’t. I lied. I lied almost as if my last name were Trump. First name Donald. Middle initial J. That’s how bad I lied. Mind you, unlike the actual Trump, Donald J. I am admitting that I lied. I’m not presenting this as an alternative fact of some sort. That would be kind of pointless because it’s obvious that there aren’t a million people here….I mean, that I haven’t actually written anything on these pages in, like, forever.
Anyway, for now, I shall end this here. I promise I will write more sooner. And as I say that, I am sure you know what I mean. It means I will make another blog post in a few months or so telling you how much I have neglected this blog. That’s all this blog is going to be. It will only be posts about how I haven’t posted in a long time. Exciting, eh?
There are just not enough comedians out there doing Robert DeNiro, Christopher Walken and Arnold Swartzenaaga (okay, I don’t know how to spell that name) impressions. Come on, people! Step it up! Get with the program. If you can’t do these impressions how are you expecting to make it to the big time? Look, work on it people. Every comic at an open mic should be doing these impressions, not just half of you hacks, ALL of you, dammit! It’s what the people want. Give the people what they deserve!
I was standing in line at the passport office, because, you know, that’s what you do at a passport office. This girl behind me was talking to someone on her little cellular phone thingy. She sounded less than impressed that she had to wait in line, and she told the person on the other end, in a rather disgusted way that, “There is exactly 15 people in line, like, almost.” Well, glad that is cleared up. Exactly….almost. Precisely….kinda? Absolutely….maybe?
….I’ll still do one anyway, what the heck. Ready?
Kanye West is to award shows what Russia is to Ukraine.
Because, you know….he’s belligerent, storms in, takes over, think he belongs there, and has a wife that makes him look like a Russian oligarch. Get it?
Okay, not one of my better jokes.